Phun with Photoshop Corporate letters Bear Notch Road Emails from Heck


I was at the New England Auto Show today, checking out the Extrusions, Suburbigators, XRTGt350XLRGBVRBPHHhHTs and all the rest of the self powered double-wide Utility Vehicles when I chanced upon the BMW stand. I knew it was there someplace but with all the Kenworth sized people haulers it was a bit challenging to locate. Sorry there wasn't a new ///M3 that I could hotwire and take for a sincere thrash session but there was a nice ///M5 on a rotating stand that I drooled forlornly at. So I'm standing there, minding my own business, happily making a considerable puddle on the carpet, when I hear a voice say "I wonder what a 74 Oil is?"

My silent reverie broken, I look and there's this guy in his thirties checking out a 740il. So I says to myself, "Self," I says "if this guy wants to callously destroy silent reveries, then I must show no mercy."

I looked this stranger in the eyes and said "The 74 Oil is a special commemorative seven series BMW that has been issues to mark the beginning of the 1974 oil embargo and the ensuing artificially induced fuel crisis. This particular model comes equipped with more weight adding options than ever before offered on any car, let alone a BMW, as well as being propelled by a high powered yet amazingly inefficient gas engine that puts those SUVs to shame in the mileage department. In addition, it has subtle body enhancements that actually inhibit efficient airflow and promote turbulence. Some say it's just a marketing ploy but, quite frankly, I think it's a landmark case of the admission of truth by a major automobile manufacturer. Conspicuous consumption, my friend, that's what is powering the rampant economy and feeding the mouths in America and this is the car that epitomizes it. I suggest you buy two."

So you know what this guy said to me?


Just thought you should know.


Porridgehead - still striving diligently to make life a bit more surreal.

PS I'm sure there was a point to this that could be garnered, but I'll be dipped if I can find it. I don't suggest that you look for one either.