Corporate letters

 

Once in a while I am compelled to correspond with some large, faceless corporation because of some transgression that has lodged in my craw. Being a concerned, upright, American citizen I often take umbrage at the machinations that these companies attempt to get away with at the expense of the American public. Fortunately, I leave the big stuff for the people who can actually present a coherant argument. Instead, I concentrate on attacking the picayune stuff that nobody in their right mind gives a paper *sshole about. Thus I get the opportunity to communicate with corporate lackies, flunkies and assorted telephone sanitizers who are fully vested with the powers necessary to ignore my pathetic bleatings. Still I soldier on, striving my best to  heighten the corporate America's awareness that there are genuine cranks out here bent on seeing just how many restraining orders can be taken out on a single individual.

Yeah, it's a tough job, but I'm just the kind of ignoramus to get it done in the lamest fashion possible.