Be a man
Phun with Photoshop Corporate letters Bear Notch Road Emails from Heck

 

I'm including this not for it's original content or the fact that I really like typing *kaff*, rather for the little advertising blurb at the end. For some reason it still cracks me up.


A stranger without a name <XXXXXX@hotmail.com> wrote:
>Significant others: you guys are weenies! I buy what I want, when I want! 
>None of this hiding crap! As long as you're not putting a financial strain 
>on the family, who gives a flying crap? When I went to get my M3, the 
>person selling the car said, "your significant other doesn't want to 
>"approve" it first?" I'm like, "WTF, it's mine, i'll be driving it, not 
>her, she has no vote in this." The guy just looked amazed. You only live 
>once, it would suck to die and never had had a chance to play with your 
>toys!

WOW! 

At first I thought "doesn't this go against the very credo of what UUC stands for?" and then I realized that this is simply the most brilliant thing that I have ever read. Why, this is going to change everything! Why didn't I think of approaching life like this sooner? I think I'll give it a try right now.

"Honey? Fetch me a beer, I just bought a brand new E46 M3. I called my local, told them to put me on the wait list and gave them a nice fat deposit. Waddaya mean 'shouldn't we have talked about it first?' Hell no! This is my life and I'm going to live according to my rules because I don't want it to suck because I couldn't play with my toys. And fix me a pot pie. I'm hungry! While I think about it, you should tie a femur in your hair and walk around the house naked or, at the very most, in some nice lingerie! Oh, you should probably get to the gym and workOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! Shi..OWWW! Dammit, OW! JeezzzusOUCH! Oh honey please, not in the OWWWWWWW*COUGH**COUGH* oooooooooooh... Honey, please, I was only OWWWWW! No, I mean it OWWWW! But honey, no don't pack your... OUCH *kaff, kaff* But honey, I really do lo...OWWWWWW! My arm! I can't move my arm! But honey... But, but, I was only doing what I read to do. No, it wasn't some no-name, it was L. Ron HubbOWWWWWOUCHOWWWOWWWW! But honey........


Porridgehead



This email was sponsored in part by ButtHoney. ButtHoney is a soothing, sweet smelling mixture of the finest pure clover honey coupled with the strongest over-the-counter analgesic and antiseptic that you can currently buy. ButtHoney is clinically proven to reduce the pain and scarring when she rips you a new one. From the makers of Johnson Wax.