Der Chevette
Phun with Photoshop Corporate letters Bear Notch Road Emails from Heck

 

I once owned a Chevette. Need I say more?


I'm delighted to have had the fortune of owning a 1976 Chevrolet Chevette as my first car. This immaculate dream was finished in a stunning Fly (Daytona) Yellow over a Black (Vinyl) interior with Silver (Duct Tape) accents. The Chevette, for those of you not familiar with this impish little road rogue, was GMs answer to both the AMC Gremlin and the Ford Pinto. Needless to say it left both of those in the dust in terms of styling and flame retardation. If you squinted your eyes and had recently experienced a savage cranial blow from a nine iron, the car still managed to look remarkably inept in terms of form, function, utility, comfort and performance. My smart and sassy (oh dear God, I am making myself sick) Chevy had, amongst it's most notable features, a Realistic (Radio Shack, Tandy, Yuck) 8 track tape player with a Cat Stevens tape permanently lodged in it. To this very day, if I even hear "Oh I've been crying lately, thinking about good things to come..." I develop a sustained nervous tic and start rocking in my seat while flailing my hands about my head. This has seriously curtailed my viewing of "Harold and Maude" much to my dismay.
The Chevette mated a woefully agricultural 4 cylinder engine to a lackadaisical automatic gearbox which yielded performance that was best described as sullen. It would sulk from 0 to 60 in slightly less time than it would take to regrout your bathroom, a similarly joyful task. The car combined crack whore reliability with near luxury car handling (that is to say vintage 1908 luxury car handling). Playful as a pup too, it frequently wet the driveway despite my best efforts to train it via daily floggings and humiliation. 
It was, however, the first car that I got lucky in. Damn that brings back good memories. No, I didn't have sex in it, you pervert, I mean that I sold the damn thing.
And that, in a Chevette, is as lucky as you are ever going to get.

Don't even ask me about the Mitsubishi Dreadia.

Porridgehead - E30 M3 owner. Apparently I'm a sucker for buzzy, unrefined, leaky, 4 cylinder buckboards.