Lexus 470 Thots
Phun with Photoshop Corporate letters Bear Notch Road Emails from Heck


I have no idea why I do these things. 

I am so impressed with the Lexus LX470 web site that I sent the following to Lexus. They'll probably fail to see the humor in it, but maybe I can get them to jump up and down and yell "YEAH, he's our man!"

Or not.


Dear Lexus,

It's about time! I just visited your web site and I must say that it is a breath of fresh air. I was checking out the LX470 when I came across the ad copy which stated "THE NEW LX 470. NOW WITH ADDED INTIMIDATION. Competitors beware, the almighty LX 470 luxury SUV has the superior styling and rugged nature to take on any would-be foe."

HOT DAMN! ADDED INTIMIDATION! I've been craving this feature in a sport utility vehicle for some time now. Let's face it, these things aren't just for getting groceries, nosiree. Trucks like this are made to strike terror into the hearts of drivers of lesser cars. I want to reign superior over my fellow motorists. I must have the most daunting, threatening, browbeating piece of badass motordom available and you guys have finally given me the weapon I crave. Now I'll be able to suck more than my share of gasoline, take my half in the middle, drive any damn place that I please and flag the lowly hoi polloi driving their pathetic little girly cars. I AM GOING TO WIN THROUGH SOME SERIOUS INTIMIDATION! The hell with humanity, I want your truck! Can I get brush guards so that when I back that sucker into a parallel space I can crease the hoods and tailgates of the puny scum that encumber me? Or, even better, can I get, like, fake machine guns mounted on the roof so I can appear completely sociopathic, psychotic and enraged? YAH! You guys are great! I mean it. I want to come by and intimidate you too, that's how much I like you!

Let me know when you want me to drop by.

Jonathan Porath

Bow before my might, frail hominid.